1. 1 week ago

    Mom on Medicine

    While at a bridal shower…

    Lady 1: Menopause has been hard! I’m on Ativan now, and it helps a lot.

    Lady 2: I’m on Xanax! It works wonders.

    Lady 3: You know, I started taking Zoloft and it’s been really helpful too. What are you on?

    Mom: Wine. I drink a lot of wine.

    Pills and Alcohol-- it's all the same

    alcohol

    wine

    there are a few ways to deal with menopause

    It doesn't matter if it comes out of a wine bottle or a pill bottle

    mom

    bridal shower

    bridal

  2. notes

    2 weeks ago

    Jimmy on Breakfast Foods

    While watching the baseball game…

    Me: I’m so hungry! Did you say there was a pie in the fridge?

    Jimmy: I have bad news. The pie is a breakfast pie.

    Me: You mean a quiche?Β 

    Jimmy: Is that what they’re called? I’ve been calling them breakfast pies this whole time…

    breakfast pie

    food

    pie

    quiche

    relationships

  3. notes

    2 weeks ago

    caleb-campbell:

Happy 1st of Halloween. πŸ‚ πŸŽƒ πŸ‘» πŸ­

I AM IN LOVE.

    caleb-campbell:

    Happy 1st of Halloween.Β πŸ‚Β πŸŽƒΒ πŸ‘»Β πŸ­

    I AM IN LOVE.

    Halloween

    art

    happpy halloween

    hocus pocus

    i put a spell on you

  4. 2 weeks ago

  5. 2 weeks ago

    "Don’t give up. Moses thought he was crazy too."

    Church Sign in Bethesda, Maryland

    never give up!

    everyone thinks they are crazy

    religion

    moses

  6. 2 weeks ago

    Cath on the Meaning of Friendship

    While texting…

    Cath: I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU TAKE ME AS OR UNDERSTAND THE INTELLIGENCE THAT JAY-Z HAS

    Me: IM FROM RAGS TO RICHES BITCHES I AIN’T DUMB I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AINT ONE!

    Cath: I love us. Because sometimes I just need to shout Jay-Z lyrics at my soulmate.

    Sometimes when you have a bad day you just need to shout rap lyrics at your bff

    that's what friends are for

    friendships

    jay-z

    jay

    bey

    soulmates

    cath

    crotches

  7. notes

    2 weeks ago

    simple-capacity:

For more extensive inspiration, motivation and “off the record articles” visit us on our:
———> Simple Capacity - Website
———> Facebook Group
———>Twitter Profile
———> Pinterest
———>Google Plus

Interesting Pic!

    simple-capacity:

    For more extensive inspiration, motivation and β€œoff the record articles” visit us on our:

    β€”β€”β€”>Β Simple CapacityΒ - Website

    β€”β€”β€”>Β Facebook Group

    β€”β€”β€”>Twitter Profile

    β€”β€”β€”>Β Pinterest

    β€”β€”β€”>Google Plus

    Interesting Pic!

    television

    truth

  8. 2 weeks ago

    My Mom on Addictions

    While talking on the phone…

    Me: Hey, by the way, I’m expecting a package, so watch out for it.

    Mom: Oh my God! What did you buy online now? You need help.

    OK I get it I shop online too much

    if you buy a lot online you might need to stop

    online shopping

    mom

  9. 2 weeks ago

    Antoinette on Running into Exes

    While gchatting at work…

    Me: That awkward moment when you run into an ex at Whole Foods and have to run the other way…

    Antoinette: Or when you see them in a friend’s apartment, and have to leave out the fire escape…

    Me: Or when you see them on the side walk and have to duck in the bushes…

    Antoinette: Or when you see them on the street and go hide in the nearest garage…

    running into exes is hard

    run girl run!

    relationships

    antoinette

    hide in the bushes

    hide in a garage

    run out the fire escape

  10. 4 weeks ago

    Antoinette on Debt

    While talking at work…

    Dee: I just got my student loans approved. I’m going to be so broke after graduation.

    Antoinette: Yeah, welcome to the American Dream.

    Welcome to the American Dream

    Debt = american life

    if you are so broke after graduation it's OK you are not alone

    student loan

    antoinette