While making plans for the weekend…
Me: Let’s go to the Crystal City Bar later.
Alexa: No, I can’t go there.
Me: Why?
Alexa: I had a dream that I was there and I saw my ex with his new girlfriend. And then someone shot me in the head. That is a sign.
While talking about her new boyfriend…
Me: So, he seems pretty insecure about your guys sex life.
Khadijah: Yeah, but I tried to console him. I told him that to women the main thing that matters in sex is the emotional connection, and we have that. You know, at the end of the day sex is just a naked man sweating on top of you—there obviously needs to be some thing else there to make it worth while.
While eating lunch…
Xie: Where is my purse?
Me: Oh no, did you leave it some where? I haven’t seen it.
Xie: No, I mean my purse.
Me: OK, where did you have it last…oohh, wait…you mean your boyfriend.
Xie: Exactly.
While studying the rules of Evidence…
Xie: So, in this hypothetical, the black burglar—
Jimmy: OBJECTION: EXTREMELY RACIST!
While studying for finals…
Cath: I got a heat patch for my back and it feels so much better.
Me: Oh goood.
Cath: Yeah, Dave was like “You should work out for it,” and I was like, “Do you even know me….”
While talking about her engagement party…
Alexa: At first I’d be like “Ron come to bed,” and even if he wasn’t tired he’d come sleep with me. Now I’m like “Ron come to bed,” and he’s like “Make me a sandwich! You never made dinner so I never ate and I’m hungry and grouchy now!!”
While talking at a book store about my international trade law class…
Dad: Well, if being a politician doesn’t work out, international trade litigation can be your back up.
Me: Yeah, I know you make a lot of money in it, but did I tell you about my dream a couple weeks ago? Well, I dreamed that I was doing all this shopping and then I just stopped and I was like “I have a shopping addiction to fill a void, because I’m not working with children. I need to work with kids.” So, I think I really need to work with kids.
Dad: You know, you have shopping down though, and you thrift a lot. You know how to get the best deals, and look, you have your brother hooked on consignment stores too. It’s OK that you have a shopping addiction.
While talking about summer jobs…
Me: I feel like law school was such a big mistake.
Jimmy: Yeah, welcome to how 99% of law students feel.
While taking a study break…
Me: UuuAAHHHHuhhh I ate too many Corn Nuts!
Alexa: That isn’t possible.
While studying for finals…
Cath: Ew, this book is so detailed and gross sometimes.
Me: Like what?
Cath: Like there’s this ancient myth it’s describing where it was believed a serpent lived in the woman’s vagina and it bit her husband’s penis the first time he broke her heinemann…I’m just like “that’s disgusting.”
Me: But also… that’s pretty awesome, and I wish it were true.
Cath: Ewwww, what?
